2013 New Year's Resolutions...

Yes! My resolutions are to lose weight (I've lost 5 pounds!), read the Bible (I started), and become a happier person. I have a hard time with that, I'm negative by nature and suffer from depression too. I'm trying though!!

 

Thank you very much for your kind words. I understand very much how you feel. I'm a Gemini and I too am pretty much a "free spirit". Having said that as a single father my children were first last and always my main concern. Yes it will be a great reunion and I am really looking forward to it. My daughter was born "C" section and I was right there when the doctor took out of my wife's stomach. Yep, my daughter and I are very close even though we haven't seen each other for a long time. We converse via the net and phone calls. I can hardly wait to see her.

 

Those *&%##!!! Gemini's! Ugh ! I just broke up with a Gemini not too long ago. Those people have split personalities !

Of course I'm not talking about you bigal, I'm sure you're a sweetheart of a Gemini

It's good that your children came first and that they were your main concern. I sometimes have to remind myself to make my son my main concern. Although I love and adore him, he is a great kid, I have been guilty of putting other people's needs before his. Not on purpose of course, but just being a people-pleaser (never a good thing) like I am, it kind of comes naturally to me to try to make other people happy. In doing that, I was putting my son's needs on the back burner.

Like for instance, the woman that I was writing about... the backseat driver girl. Well, she would want me to give her rides all over the city, meanwhile, my son would be in the backseat of the car saying, "I want to go home Mom." So, I had to learn to put friends' wants and needs to the side, and focus on my family and what is good for us.

Awhile ago I had a friend who always wanted to come over to my house and hang out. This person didn't have their own house or apartment, they rented a room, so they didn't have their own kitchen, yard, all that stuff, so they would basically come over to use mine (use me).
They'd use my kitchen, hang out in my living room watching TV. They would stay all day.

My son told me that he didn't like that.
I had to stop that person from coming over, in order to put my son first. I have a lot of little experiences similar to that one, where certain things did not sit right with my son, so I had to look at the situation and change it to benefit him.

It is good that you and your daughter are close. A good father/daughter relationship is priceless. I'm sure that she is excited to see you too!

 

Oh, sorry to hear that you've gone thru a break-up. I hope you are doing well now and have moved on.

Anyway, I think that even avoiding eating while watching tv is a good start in trying to start your diet, because I read that eating in front of the tv makes you eat more than what you should be eating, because our minds our preoccupied while watching and we just chew and chew. I think it makes perfect sense.

 

I promised myself I'd get into better shape, so far I've done nothing at all besides drinking less coffee. I enjoy life, am in good health and like my lifestyle but I'm no fun to be around when I'm miserable and denial of the foods I love makes me miserable, what can I say?

I'll probably eat an entire can of sliced pineapple during the hockey game tonight.

 

We are in contact with each other thanks to the good ole' computer and the internet. We are in communication via it and the phone. It has really been great to hear her voice and learn how well she has done over the years. I am truly proud of her and what she has accomplished.

 

Thanks for the nice words about my break up. It was for the best. I'm doing much better than I was a month or two ago. I have moved on, although this man likes to pop up at my house unexpectedly, or call me on the phone out of the blue.

Recently the ex hooked me up with a job at a shop that his friend owns. I was/am supposed to start any day, but the more I think about it, the more I feel like I should not accept the job (even though I really need the money), and just focus on starting and running my own business. I feel that if I take the job at the friend's shop, that will still give me ties to the ex, especially since he works there too sometimes.

I talked it over with my dad. He said that although I need the money, just don't even go there. Leave it alone. My dad said that working with the friend is not a good idea at all. My dad did not like the ex, so my dad does not want me working with the ex's friend.

As far as the diet goes, yes, not eating in front of the TV would help a lot. I really don't like to watch TV because I get too caught up in it; watching one show, and the next thing you know 5 hours have passed by. Show after show, after show, after show!
It's kind of like being on the Internet. You go to one site, and then end up clicking on to another site, then another, and another. The next thing you know, you've spent half the day on the Internet.

Right now my diet is non-existent. I have to really put my mind to it to make it work. I like to eat, so diets are hard for me.

 

Kudos to you for losing 5 pounds . I'm not jealous at all , lol.
Seriously though, a 5 pound loss is huge, because you have to lose 5 before you can lose 10, and 20, and so on, and so on. You're on your way .

The Bible is my favorite book. I love it . It is good that one of your resolutions is to read the Bible. Bible reading and daily prayer can change your life. Since you say that you are negative by nature (what does that mean exactly?? examples please ), and you suffer from depression, you really need to pray.

I pray pretty much every day, but when I was going through some real deep, serious problems, I had to pray for hours at a time, I had to or else I felt like I was not going to make it.
Sometimes I would get into my bed at night and start talking to God like I was talking on the phone to someone, I would just tell Him everything. I was sinking into an emotional black hole, and the only thing that I knew to do, to fix it, was pray. Nobody else could fix it. So I talked to God, and it worked. IT WORKED.

 

If all you're doing is eating cans of sliced pineapple, I'd say you're doing pretty good. Which reminds me, I have to get some pineapple and eat it. One of my amigas is really loyal to eating pineapple, she says it makes her kisses taste sweet. Different story for a different time.

I commend you for drinking less coffee, although I am an avid coffee drinker and don't think that I would like to give it up. I had an aunt who lived to be almost 100 years old, and she drank coffee almost every day of her life. Black, no sugar, no cream. Besides the grace of God, that coffee is what kept her going, if you ask me, that and the fact that she worked like a horse .

If I were to cut out anything, it would be the cream or milk and sugar that I put in my coffee, but not the coffee itself. As far as your lifestyle, I totally understand where you are coming from when you talk about being miserable if you are denied certain foods. I turn into someone I barely recognize when I go on a diet and don't eat certain foods. I'm grouchy, moody, I feel irritated. Yes, I totally understand where you are coming from about the food denial.

 

In my situation it was the other way around. I was very much protective of my children and if truth be told I was a bit strict because I WAS a single parent. I was fortunate in that my daughter was older than her brother and she was a big help getting herself and her brother off to school and doing little chores around the house.

 

No problem, almost everyone goes through that once in a while. Anyway, I think that you did the right thing by not accepting the job, since there are lots of other jobs out there anyway. You should cut all ties with him if that's what you think is best for you.

Regarding dieting, just try to drink lots of water before eating to suppress your appetite, it works quite effectively.

 

Speaking of breakups It hasn't been too long ago my Thai lady and I broke up. For me it was a bit of a traumatic experience in that she ripped me for a ring I valued a lot. For over a year I haven't spoken to her or even acknowledged her and I see her almost everyday. I have to pass where she has her business and her flat almost everyday when I go to the store. I have a friend who is still on friendly terms with her. To make a long story short he talked me into stopping at her place for a drink. I protested to no avail. (actually I did want to see her) Anyway we had a cordial drink and a little conversation. We will never get back together but at least we aren't enemies and it is best to forgive and forget don't you think?

 

Nope, I don't think it is actually. When someone has done you wrong it's best not to give them another chance to do it again. She may not become your flame again but she's proven capable of hurting you so why should you give her access to your life? I'm a firm believer that people should be responsible for their choices and actions, I would have told my friend to knock it off.

Why did you want to see her again anyway? What was the pull?

 

Being strict is a good thing. Strict, but not cruel. Cruel is not a good thing. I have seen some parents be cruel to their kids, and call it being "strict."

I would rather have someone be gently strict, than to be all silly-acting as a parent. I have seen the affects of "soft" parenting on kids, and many times the result is not pleasant. Kids need structure and discipline. If one loves a child, they are going to gently but firmly correct that child. I have seen parents not correct their children, not make them clean their room, not even show them how to clean, and then wonder why the kid is starting to run amuck.

I'm very protective of my son, but as I said, sometimes I have put his needs on the back burner to do some "people pleasing." I had to get out of that . It is "funny" because sometimes when you do that, when you stop the people pleasing, you find out who your real friends are, and who those are that were just using you from the beginning.

 

I think I did the right thing too . I felt relief when I turned that job down this week. I had not been talking to him at all, then when he called me and left me a message saying that he had a hook-up for a job for me, I started talking to him again . Should not have done that. That's how a lot of people on that show "American Greed" get in trouble. They think about the money, but don't think about anything else.

I mean, he's a nice guy. I think that he could be my soul-mate, but right now is not the time to be with him. He is going through stuff he needs to fix, I've got my own issues. We just need space right now.

As far as the water drinking goes, I need to really drink more water than I currently do. Some days are better than others as far as my water intake goes, but for the most part, I really need to drink more. Water is a miracle cure for so many things.

How's your diet going ??

 

I think that since you wanted to see her, it is great that you were able to sit down with this woman and had a cordial drink with her. I'm glad that you have forgiven her. Did this woman apologize for stealing something valuable from you??! Did she tell you where your ring is? What kind of businesswoman steals jewelry ??

I think that it is great that you have forgiven her, even if she did not ask you to. It is best to forgive so that you don't carry around any irritation about the situation. Forgive, and let it go.

However, I, for one, don't believe in forgive and forget. Forgive, yes. Forget, never, lest I open the door for you to do the same thing all over again, or something totally different, but equally painful. You know that old saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

I know how it is when a break up happens. You're so p!ssed off... at first.

As time goes on, the anger goes away and you start only remembering the good times, and maybe even longing for the good times. Especially if you're a super friendly person.

This happens a lot with people who are overly nice, or playful. They have good hearts, they're happy-go-lucky. They are goodhearted, so they think that deep down, everyone else is too. Not so.

I hope you don't let her get close to you again, even in a friendship type of way.

 

Actually I had not even spoken to her nor have I wanted to but my friend who still spoke to her from time to time convinced me to forgive and forget. At the time I thought it was a good idea since almost every other day I had to walk past her shop and home on my way to the neighborhood store.

 

To get back on topic my New Year's Resolution is to reunite with my daughter and meet her husband along with the grand and great grandchildren I have never seen. I am really looking forward to that re-union.

 

This is a fabulous resolution! It is a clear goal with a time frame to do it in. As I have written before, I know that your daughter and your grandchildren are going to be so happy when they see you.

I hope you get along with the husband-to-be.

 

I'm sure I will. My daughter says he is a fine young man and I trust her judgment. If all goes well I'll be there to see for myself. Thank you for your kind words.