Arguments

Yes, arguments! Don't you hate it when you end up having an argument with your SO? That happened quite recently, this time it was a really close call. My SO said something that he shouldn't have said (it was more than just that tho), things got pretty ugly. This is our second argument ever, but I'm glad neither of us likes to use a foul language.

We didn't talk for two days, he called me just today nearly crying. I couldn't stay upset! I talked with him, we fixed things and now we are good. I rarely know what to do when something like this happens, the best thing I can think of (specially when I feel hurt and I don't feel like talking with him) is to stop talking/seeing him for some days. This kind of situations are never easy!

I'd like to know what you guys do when you have an argument with your SO. How do you try to fix the things? Do you usually wait for your SO to take the iniciative?

 

I think that all arguments in general should never be allowed to fester, because it will only lead to more resentment. If I know that I'm wrong then I will definitely take the initiative, but if if the other party is the wrong one, then I won't budge at all.

 

Looks like I did the right thing then I was such a silly person when I was younger, I used to give in so easily... even if the other party was to blame. Now I won't budge at all. I was told that was wrong; I shouldn't stop talking my SO when something like that happens. Pffffffff

 

I don't budge just for the sake of budging, if someone is wrong in what they did I stand firm on it. There is no sense in lying to them and telling them you're partly to blame for what they did when you're not. They will start to believe that to be true over time and keep pushing you more and more to see what they can get away with.

 

Yeah I agree, we should never allow someone to boss us around, whether emotionally, physically, or financially. If you do that, they will take advantage of that weakness. So if they were the wrong one, then don't say that you are just so that they could talk to you.

 

Yeah, exactly. That's why this time I didn't make it so easy on my bofriend. I had to let him know what he did was wrong! I just hope this doesn't happen again. I hate having any kind of argument with him.

--- Double Post Merged, Sep 14, 2013 ---

Yeah! That's why I try not to let my boyfriend see my vulnerabilities, and I'm careful when I share something too personal and private with him. This time I was harsh, so he knows I mean business. He said something that really hurt me, so I basically showed him I'm not his unconditional. I used to be very dumb when I was younger... not doing it again!

 

I hate arguments! I'm been married for almost 14 years and sadly we do argue often. But we're working on it. For a while, anything would morph into the same old argument... so we had to work hard to let that go.

 

@ Trellum, one of the things I've learned is to never open up your vulnerabilities to people in general, most especially the ones that are closest to you, because they can possibly use it against you!

 

Tell me about it! I'm very sensitive and extremely intuitive, there are times I can feel the subtles changes in a person's behaviour. Today I spoke too much, am going to pay for that later! I think a lot like you as well I think a lot people like to pay a lot attention to what you say, just to see if they can use something against you in the right moment.

--- Double Post Merged, Sep 17, 2013 ---

Yeah, arguing very often is actually not such a bad sign, as long as the reason you're arguing is a real one and you're not arguing over everything. Even the smallest and silliest things. I actually read it's kinda good for your health... because you don't end up bottling up your feelings. Same happens with the people who complain a lot, they say this kind of people tend to live longer, lol. If that's true then I'm sure I'll be able to live 100 years!

 

@ Trellum, yeah so never tell people what annoys or hurts you, because once they know, they will do that when they get annoyed at you, just to make you pissed! People do that to me, and it makes them look really childish!

 

Sorry to hear that I hope they are not relatives or friends of yours My sister does that to my mom, by the way. But she is just making a fool by herself, because my mother is no longer showing that she cares. It still hurts her a little, because my sister knows what really hurts her and keeps doing it. That woman is so full of hate.

 

I do hate arguments and I really just try to avoid them because usually nothing good ever comes from arguments no matter who is right. Sometimes arguments need to happen but I do hate them either way!

 

Yeah, same here, I had an argument quite recently with my boyfriend, it was quite ugly and I totally cried my eyes out... to the point my eyes were super swollen! It had to happen tho, so yeah, I agree with you! Sometimes this sort of things got to happen! Specially when an issue needs to be fixed.

 

I try to avoid arguments the most I can. There was a time I thought an argument was necessary, but not anymore. I think arguments just bring more arguments and this only happens when you are tired or you don't have the capacity to compromise. So compromise is the "new" keyword for me.

 

Well, just make sure this doesn't happen often The moment arguments take place way too often and over nothing, that usually means there is a problem going on and it needs to be fixed quick. Sometimes women are not very clear with what they feel or think, so if you notice your wife is arguing with you for no apparent reason...you better stat thinking fast!! Because someone could be really bothering her and you don't even know!

 

Yes, I so agree with that: "Sometimes women are not very clear with what they feel or think", I think it happens 99% of the time!

Women tend to be very emotional, you need to have some wisdom to deal with a woman...

 

Hahaha, yeah, and be good at guessing, because you will mostl likely be stuck with the: ''No, I'm fine!'' LOL, when I say this what I actually mean is: ''NO, I'm NOT fine! but it seems you're totally clueless, so we better leave it this way''. To be honest, I don't even know why we keep doing this!!! It's like we suffer from sort of ''you don't get me/you don't love me enough syndrome''.

 

I think it must be something related with hormones or then you are simply sadistic!

 

That's a good thing to know!

 

Hahaha, actually the ''I'm fine'' it's a classic capa Never believe a woman when she tells you that after a small or big argument, it's never true! Well, it can be sometimes, but it rarely is